Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

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Explore More Quotes by Joan Rivers

I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman unde

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Related Quotes to Explore

    You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.

    You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

    Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

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