Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – circa 1914) was an American Civil War soldier, wit, and writer. Bierce is best known for his "howlingly funny" book The Devil's Dictionary, which was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration.

Enjoy the best Ambrose Bierce picture quotes.

Read more about Ambrose Bierce on Wikipedia.

Heaven lies about us in our infancy, and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Mad adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Bacchus n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond, the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Bore n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Doubt is the father of invention.

Immortality: A toy which people cry for And on their knees apply for Dispute contend and lie for And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Alliance - in international politics the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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