Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – circa 1914) was an American Civil War soldier, wit, and writer. Bierce is best known for his "howlingly funny" book The Devil's Dictionary, which was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration.

Enjoy the best Ambrose Bierce picture quotes.

Read more about Ambrose Bierce on Wikipedia.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Day n. A period of twenty-four hours mostly misspent.

Edible adj.: Good to eat and wholesome to digest as a worm to a toad a toad to a snake a snake to a pig a pig to a man and a man to a worm.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Quotation n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes particularly the taste for domination.

In our civilization and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Suffrage noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means as commonly interpreted the right to vote for the man of another man's choice and is highly prized.

Eloquence n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Amnesty n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Deliberation n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

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