Charlie Sheen

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Boom crush. Night losers. Winning duh.

Dad kept us out of school but school comes and goes. Family is forever.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.

We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art.

What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life that we are high priests Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that people. See where that goes.

I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help to make my knowledge of what I went through accessible.

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

I'm sorry man but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18 bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news and he wanted to be the one to report it.

I've spent I think close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

Duh! So we're asking you now what are some of your favorite lines that this warlock brain produced?

From my big beautiful warlock brain welcome to 'Sheen's Korner' ... You're either in my corner or you're with the trolls.

People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah no I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack.

I've got mad energy for days. That's what people can't get their minds around. They say 'Oh he's going to crash.' They try to apply all these common terms to a guy who is not common. I don't fit into their little box.

Slash sat me down at his house and said You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying Look you've got to get into rehab.

I'm tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.

Sure I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core the foundation of what I pursued what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn't?

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

I so desperately wanted to be Mr. Somebody. Instead I was the little brother included to a point.

What you come to discover is it isn't how you get there it's that you get there. If that's what it took to get me where I'm at today so be it.

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

Dad almost died of a heart attack in the middle of making Apocalypse Now the biggest movie of his life. It doesn't make you want to jump into that business.

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off you forget you're acting.

I'm dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don't have time for these clowns.

You can't process me with a normal brain.

Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there's no manual no training course.

I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.

The run I was on made Sinatra Flynn Jagger Richards all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.

When friends asked me Can we help? I'd say Not unless you can alter time speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.

You have the right to kill me but you don't have the right to judge me. That's life. There's nobility in that. There's focus. It's genuine. It's crystal and it's pure and it's available to everybody so just shut your traps and put down your McDonalds your vaccines your Us Weekly your TMZ and the rest of it.

I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity, and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives, and then they look at me and they say 'I can't process it', well no you never will stop trying just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?