David McAlister "Dave" Barry (born July 3, 1947) is a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels.
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Because of the level of my chess game I was able - even against a weak opponent such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster.
To an adolescent there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
It was by far just a one-girl show. She led every offensive and defensive category for Bishop Kearney today. She definitely carried Bishop Kearney today.
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Most married couples even though they love each other very much in theory tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting.
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling of the dark of lobsters of falling on lobsters in the dark or speaking before a Rotary Club and of the words "Some Assembly Required
He'd tried to strike up a conversation with her.
To enter Europe you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.
I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.
Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead.