Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

Julius Henry Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977), known professionally as Groucho Marx, was an American writer, comedian, stage, film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His distinctive appearance, carried over from his days in vaudeville, included quirks such as an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigar, and a thick greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. 

Enjoy the best Groucho Marx picture quotes.

Read more about Groucho Marx on Wikipedia.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Go and never darken my towels again.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.

In Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Those are my principles and if you don't like them... well I have others.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Next time I see you remind me not to talk to you.

I didn't like the play but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent as written in our contract.

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