Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Alexandra Molinsky (June 8, 1933 – September 4, 2014), widely known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, voice actress, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—alternatingly self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians.

Enjoy the best Joan Rivers picture quotes.

Read more about Joan Rivers on Wikipedia.

Our natures are a lot like oil mix us with anything else and we strive to swim on top.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Forty for you sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

People say that money is not the key to happiness but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.

Don't follow any advice no matter how good until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Life is very tough. If you don't laugh it's tough.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

The thing is I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

I'm in nobody's circle I've always been an outsider.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I wish I had a twin so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

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