Mae West

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

A hard man is good to find.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

It isn't what I do but how I do it. It isn't what I say but how I say it and how I look when I do it and say it.

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.

Any time you got nothing to do - and lots of time to do it - come on up.

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall debonair and devastating it will be that much easier.

When choosing between two evils I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I speak two languages Body and English.

I always say keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.

Personally I like two types of men - domestic and foreign.

I'm a woman of very few words but lots of action.

I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men?

I've been things and seen places.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars - that's subtraction.

Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire women will like him.

I only like two kinds of men domestic and imported.

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

Keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance but with somebody else.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils I take the one I've never tried.

It's not what I do but the way I do it. It's not what I say but the way I say it.

If I asked for a cup of coffee someone would search for the double meaning.

Right now I think censorship is necessary, the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

It's not the men in my life that count it's the life in my men.

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then just so long as you don't break any.

I didn't discover curves, I only uncovered them.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home I'm tired.