Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield (November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and screenwriter known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School.

Enjoy the best Rodney Dangerfield picture quotes.

Read more about Rodney Dangerfield on Wikipedia.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee, and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay you're ugly too.

At twenty, a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy, he still wants to reform the world but he know he can't.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

My cousins gay he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

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