I must confess that I'm no fan of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. Funny political quotes, on the other hand, I can never get enough of. If you don't find them funny, well, you're probably running for President.
I've put together the funniest political quotes that make me laugh. If you have even better ones, let me know in the comments.
1. Well I don't think we should go to the moon. I think we maybe should send some politicians up there. - Ron Paul

2. If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H. L. Mencken

3. A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow next week next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. - Winston Churchill

5. Reader suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

6. Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process. - John F. Kennedy

7. It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job, it's a depression when you lose yours. - Harry S. Truman

8. He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

9. The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. - Andy Rooney

10. If churches want to play the game of politics let them pay admission like everyone else - George Carlin

12. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. - Douglas Adams

13. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers

14. The question is why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing on national television that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste? - Dave Barry

17. Alliance - in international politics the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. - Ambrose Bierce

19. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. - Ronald Reagan

21. A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in. - H. L. Mencken

Are you tired yet? Maybe you should take a break and come later for some more laughs.
I would never do that, though. As I already said, one can never get enough of funny political quotes! Read on, my friends, read on.
23. Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people. - Richard M. Nixon

25. Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

27. I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

28. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. - Groucho Marx

29. Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

30. If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations study hell. - Thomas Merton

32. I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness. - Steve Martin

34. A politician is a man who understands government. A statesman is a politician who's been dead for 15 years. - Harry S. Truman

35. The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time and I doubt that anybody would notice. - Dave Barry

36. It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

38. Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

39. When buying and selling are controlled by legislation the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - P. J. O'Rourke

41. I remember when I first came to Washington. For the first six months you wonder how the hell you ever got here. For the next six months you wonder how the hell the rest of them ever got here. - Harry S. Truman

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Or you can check more Political quotes and Funny quotes here on HoopoeQuotes.
Stay well, my friends!