I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Author: George Burns

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally you forget to pull it down.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.

Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

I love to travel, but hate to arrive.