Before I speak I have something important to say.

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Explore More Quotes by Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Related Quotes to Explore

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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