From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Author: Groucho Marx

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Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on I go to the library and read a good book.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.