I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Author: Groucho Marx

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Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.