My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

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Explore More Quotes by Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends. 

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

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