Cynicism is humor in ill health.

Author: H. G. Wells

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If you fell down yesterday stand up today.

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

In politics, strangely enough, the best way to play your cards is to lay them face upwards on the table.

I must confess that my imagination refuses to see any sort of submarine doing anything but suffocating its crew and floundering at sea.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.