I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out she'll kill me.

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Explore More Quotes by Henny Youngman

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a wee

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays I go Fridays.

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    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends. 

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

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