What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays I go Fridays.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.