Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

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Explore More Quotes by Joan Rivers

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.

    Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.

    We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.

    We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

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