If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

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Explore More Quotes by Joan Rivers

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.

    God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.

    You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.

    You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.

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