My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

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Explore More Quotes by Joan Rivers

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

Related Quotes to Explore

    He who would travel happily must travel light.

    He who would travel happily must travel light.

    Others may know pleasure, but pleasure is not happiness. It has no more importance than a shadow following a man.

    Others may know pleasure, but pleasure is not happiness. It has no more importance than a shadow following a man.

    Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.

    Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.

    Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect but that you have looked beyond its imperfections.

    Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect, but that you have looked beyond its imperfections.

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