The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

Author: Joan Rivers

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Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.

Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain.

It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed.

I'm young; I'm handsome; I'm fast. I can't possibly be beat.