If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.