I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen would you.

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Explore More Quotes by Andy Rooney

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries t

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business, because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

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    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

    Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

    The reason I've been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money.

    The reason I've been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money.

    You can fool some people sometimes, but you can’t fool all the people all the time

    You can fool some people sometimes, but you can’t fool all the people all the time.

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