Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

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Explore More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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