I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

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Explore More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Related Quotes to Explore

    When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.

    When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.

    'You are drunk Sir Winston you are disgustingly drunk. 'Yes Mrs. Braddock I am drunk. But you Mrs.

    'You are drunk, Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.' - Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock, are ugly and disgustingly fat. But tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill, will be sober.

    I may be drunk Miss but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

    I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.

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