I want to get a vending machine with fun sized candy bars and the glass in front is a magnifying gl Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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I want to get a vending machine with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad but it will be too late.

Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.

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Latest from Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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