I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said "You're gonna have Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said "You're gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit.

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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    Each of the professions means a prejudice. The necessity for a career forces every one to take sides. We live in the age of the overworked, and the under-educated; the age in which people are so industrious that they become absolutely stupid.

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