If carrots got you drunk rabbits would be messed-up. Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.

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Read more about Mitch Hedberg on Wikipedia.

Latest from Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
    My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
    O thou invisible spirit of wine if thou hast no name to be known by let us call thee devil.

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