People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life and a dog has never l

People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

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