People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life and a dog has never l Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

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Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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