Y'know you can't please all the people all the time... and last night all those people were at my show.

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Explore More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

    Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends. 

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    People don’t take trips, trips take people.

    People don’t take trips, trips take people.

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