I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.

Author: Orson Welles

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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else.

I have a great love and respect for religion, great love and respect for atheism. What I hate is agnosticism, people who do not choose.

Gluttony is not a secret vice.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.