If you are young and you drink a great deal, it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

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Explore More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm

I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.

Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.

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    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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