A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

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Explore More Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter h

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song, no matter how bad they are.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

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