It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep or I'd be rotten to the core.

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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song, no matter how bad they are.

Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.