There's so little money in my bank account my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Author:

Explore More Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter h

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song, no matter how bad they are.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

Related Quotes to Explore

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

    Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

    The reason I've been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money.

    The reason I've been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money.

    Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.

    Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.

Search