Life is just a bowl of pits.

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What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.

We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.

It's impossible to protect your kids against disappointment in life.

There is no such thing in life as normal.