With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

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Explore More Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

What a dog I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!

Related Quotes to Explore

    God respects me when I work; but God loves me when I sing.

    God respects me when I work; but God loves me when I sing.

    Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me.

    Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me.

    You did the best that you knew how. Now that you know better, you’ll do better.

    You did the best that you knew how. Now that you know better, you’ll do better.

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