Yeah I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

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Explore More Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

What a dog I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!

Related Quotes to Explore

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.

    God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.

    You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.

    You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.

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