I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere but they're just not comedians. In fact some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding because it's just its own reward. It's sort of like heaven.
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Related Quotes to Explore
The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.