There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

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Explore More Quotes by Steve Martin

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

A day without sunshine is like you know night.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding because

Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding because it's just its own reward. It's sort of like heaven.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

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    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

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