I intend to live forever. So far so good.

Author: Steven Wright

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.