You need to be silly to be funny.

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Writing is truly a creative art - putting word to a blank piece of paper and ending up with a full-fledged story, rife with character and plot.

The ability to breathe the air and drink the water will be what the wars will be about from here on in. And it's coming with alarming rapidity.

How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.

I sometimes find that in interviews you learn more about yourself than the person learned about you.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.