Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

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Explore More Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blo

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blow this out.'

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

    Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

    Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

    Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

    Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

    Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

    No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.

    No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.

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