I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special put 'em on the menu. Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special put 'em on the menu.

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That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blo

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blow this out.'

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

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    The body is a source of endless trouble to us by reason of the mere requirement of food.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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