You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blo Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blow this out.'

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That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas, people being helped by people other than me.

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

There's very little advice in men's magazines because men don't think there's a lot they don't know

There's very little advice in men's magazines because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think "I know what I'm doing just show me somebody naked."

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    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

    Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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