I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. I

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it I get up.

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Well done is better than well said.

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.

Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.

Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.