A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn

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Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Related Quotes to Explore

    The only way to escape the corruptible effect of praise is to go on working. - Albert Einstein Quote

    The only way to escape the corruptible effect of praise is to go on working.

    The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.

    The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.

    This is the real secret of life – to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.

    This is the real secret of life – to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.

    Nothing ever fatigues me, but doing what I do not like.

    Nothing ever fatigues me, but doing what I do not like.

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