As a child I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

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Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Related Quotes to Explore

    If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

    If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

    I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

    I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

    You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.

    You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.

    We can't be brave without fear.

    We can't be brave without fear.

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