Because of the level of my chess game I was able - even against a weak opponent such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster.

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Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Sci-fi films are the epic films of the day because we can no longer put 10 000 extras in the scene

    Sci-fi films are the epic films of the day because we can no longer put 10 000 extras in the scene - but we can draw thousands of aliens with computers.

    I see people putting text messages on the phone or computer and I think 'Why don't you just call?'

    I see people putting text messages on the phone or computer and I think 'Why don't you just call?'

    You'll see more and more perfection of that - computer as servant. But the next thing is going to b

    You'll see more and more perfection of that - computer as servant. But the next thing is going to be computer as a guide or agent.

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